Even during a pandemic, my life has been anything but boring. So much motion within and outside my body - I can barely grip onto firm ground. That explains why, at 4am, I was lying in bed thinking. Thinking about balance and how to hold onto it through the wind tunnel I'm in.
Feng shui, also known as Chinese geomancy, came to mind. For those who like definitions, it’s a pseudoscientific traditional practice originating from ancient China, which claims to use energy forces to harmonize individuals with their surrounding environment. In the US, the land of wealth, we generally think of it in terms of decorating, but its usefulness is far broader.
Starting from the outside, we’ve moved. Downsized our belongings and changed our cave - everything needs to be reassembled in a way that feels ‘right’. It’s a daunting task I spend hours on - both consciously and without immediate awareness. Where should I put this objet d’art? Does this chair look right here? I am constantly studying everything I’d taken for granted; paint color, light fixtures, couches, carpets, photos, tchatkis, and on and on. It’s dizzying. Yet, in another sense, a fun problem if that were all I had on my plate.
My novel is in Revision #4 - clearly improved from it’s prior versions, but has it been cooked to its optimal piquancy? I can’t tell and it’s driving me mad. If it were chicken soup, I’d know immediately.
The presidential election - the one that doesn’t seem to end. The one that kept me up every night for a week checking in on the counts - I’m so tired of it. Let’s please move on.
And to topple the balance further, my health is starting to suck. I need more surgery and I’m trying to keep it locked in the cancer box, but it’s scary and particularly chilling to be facing a sentence in the hospital during the pandemic. At the core, this one I have the least control over and it resides in the epicenter of the Feng shui model, impacting everything around it. I’m told that it depends on my bowels - can you imagine? My well-being lies in my rectum? If I were in a sillier state of mind, I’d have a hay day with that one!
Perhaps that’s all it takes! Voila, creativity and bathroom humor to yank the balance back in place. Any good s$%t jokes out there?
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