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  • Writer's pictureJane Rubin

Necessity is the Mother of Invention

Updated: Mar 8, 2023

No toilet paper in any stores; no hand sanitizer; no this, no that! No, no no! I’m mad as Hell and I’m not going to take it anymore!

What the F--k is the matter with people?! Do you hoarders really think that a basement stuffed with paper products will actually save you from a virus? Is it worth stockpiling everyday products at the expense of your community, neighbor or an elderly person on a fixed income who normally buys a couple of rolls at a time. And hand sanitizer when you have soap and water at home? If you know how to think, you must know you’re taking that last container from an infant who needs to be protected or the many vulnerable individuals who have fragile conditions and need people to be cautious in their presence - all under normal NON-CONO conditions!

Wake up! Stop the hoarding. Don’t go into panic, doomsday mode and for Pete’s sake (wow, I’m channeling my mother, Gilda now) stop acting like an A-hole. Because if you do, trust me, no one will forget it! You will be known as that A-hole for eternity. And without this crazy behavior, we already have plenty A-holes to go around.

Of course, there are lots of people, simply frustrated that a regular item on a weekly food list is now unavailable. So, being a practical sort at heart, I’m reviewing options. My angry side wants names and address of all hoarders within a block or two of my home so I know where to go after my morning coffee kicks in. Can you imagine, knock, knock “Hi there, I understand you have enough toilet paper for an entire neighborhood with dysentery, so thank you for sharing your bathroom for a few minutes. I promise I won’t be long."

But, like most of us, my more even tempered self generally prevails and I am exploring other options as I currently see myself running low: paper towels, baby wipes and my latest epiphany, napkins! So, I share this only with the non-alarmists who are getting caught short like me, without their beloved Charmin. Napkins are the next best option!


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